The basis of LDR’s is formed on the firm knowledge that both sides of the relationship want to stay together or at least try. It’s NOT going to work if one side is unwilling to. The main thing to understand is that you aren’t going to be talking with each other 24/7, you both have different lives, separated with work, university, extra curriculars and what not so it’s important that you understand this and respect each other’s time. Personally, a call a day to see how we are both doing does just fine and texts throughout the day work fine, making their replies something to look forward to. I’ve realised that the closer it is to my partner coming to visit me, the more I centre my focus around him instead of actually living my life. It’s definitely something I’ve noticed some of my friends doing too when they are seeing their partners after a long time too. Its going to happen, and its ok for it to happen. The excitement builds up and the anticipation of finally seeing them finally hits you, but it’s important that we, as young people, live in the moment! Enjoy the time that we’re here! I also understand that not everyone is able to see their partner, logistics, money and schedules don’t always add up but that’s ok! That just means time spent together is more valuable and should be cherished, which leads me onto my next point.
...communication is the most important part to a long-distance relationship.
Quality over quantity. If, by the off chance, you do get to see your partner after the hard time of long distance, its rarely going to be for long periods of time. Making the time you have together special is vital, making memories and just enjoying life with each other. Basic communication makes a whole difference. Arguments or disagreements are bound to happen and resolving them are going to be harder as you don’t have them there in person for comfort, nor a shared space where you can reset and it may seem easier to disregard your discomfort rather than speaking up. Communicating your boundaries and feelings helps so much and makes the biggest difference with these relationships. Staying strong, close and healthy. Arguably, I believe communication is the most important part to a long-distance relationship. Conversations are taken beyond regular small talk, towards facing feeling, fears or changing needs.
... distance doesn’t measure the strength of love. The willingness to choose each other over and over again does.
I’m sure we’ve all seen online, watched TikToks, and Instagram Reels. Cheating has almost become ‘normalised’ as it’s a much more open to the public. Especially when doing long distance, you can trust someone to the full but still have an uneasy emotional feel when your partner goes out etc... You’re definitely in a more vulnerable position doing long distance because you rely fully on your trust on that person, if they do something to break or hinder your trust, how can it be rebuilt? The fear of cheating itself becomes almost self-sabotaging, when your anxiety is the relationships centre and conversations are built around reassurance instead of connection, making the relationships more of a burden rather than joy.
I’ve figured out that maintaining my own identity is so important, and having a partner who supports what you do, choices that you make is crucial for having a healthy relationship. Long distance should be faced with the truth; distance doesn’t measure the strength of love. The willingness to choose each other over and over again does. Every couple goes through the same stage: to trust or not to trust. It is the decision to move forward with each other, learn and grow together.