Moving away: keeping in touch with loved ones

Starting university is an intimidating experience for anyone, regardless as to whether you’re an extrovert, or someone who often finds it hard to form new relationships. I know from personal experience that most of the fear surrounding university stems from the anxiety of leaving behind loved ones.

Back home, I had friends that I had known from four years old. These people knew my true self: every embarrassing thing I had ever done, all of my accomplishments and my failures. Most of these friends were going to university too and part of me feared that we would all become so consumed by our new lives, that we would forget the history we had together. I also had close friends who weren’t going to university and with this came the concern that these friends would somehow forget about my existence by the time I returned for Christmas. Spoiler alert: this was not the case.

I promise that if those in your life truly value you, then they will put effort into maintaining your relationship. Having close proximity to someone does not create a relationship. I managed to keep the majority of my friends by using face time to regularly call them, arranging visits to one another’s universities (or trips back home), and planning exciting things to do over the summer holidays. Take advantage of the technology we have today! The crucial thing to remember is that you also have to dedicate time to these relationships. You can’t expect the hard work to be done for you! Relationships are a two-way street.

Of course, there are some friendships that will naturally break apart. This is a reality of life. Sometimes people just change and you’re not right for each other anymore. It’s important to try to stay positive and to recognize that you are entering a time of your life in which you will have the opportunity to meet some incredible people. I never thought that I would form such strong bonds with those who I had known for just a year, but I did.

Preserving my relationship with my parents was less of a worry for me, as I knew that I had parents who were missing me as soon as I left the door. In fact, my relationship with my mum definitely improved when I went to university. By not living together anymore, we had a lot less arguments and I started to become more appreciative of everything that she had, and continues to, do for me. Having independence was certainly refreshing, but I was also forced to acknowledge that I still sometimes need to rely on my parents.

Like with my friends, I face timed my parents a lot in first year and I made sure to update them on the things going on in my life. I recognize that my experience does no apply to everyone, as some people have complicated relationships with their parents and may seek independence to a greater extent. This is valid too. Part of entering adulthood is being able to choose who you want to remain a part of your life and who you don’t.