The intimacy of sharing a mutual admiration for particular songs is like an exchange of love letters, each track fostering a deeper understanding of your partner. Music reflects our inner selves, our joys, sorrows, passions and fears, often speaking louder than anything we can say ourselves.
Whether it’s curating a joint Spotify playlist, gifting a personalised CD, going to a concert or writing a song, music creates unique bonds between partners. But does it make or break your relationship?
Research found that music preferences often closely align with personality traits. They discovered that extroverts gravitate to upbeat styles like Europop, while agreeable people linger towards mellow tunes like RnB. Music can act as a social badge, indicating your character and signalling your compatibility with a partner.
However, there is so much more to a person than their music taste. Yes, they may like that underground band you saw play at the Cluny for a fiver, but does that define them as a whole? Even if you and your partner have differing tastes, you can still appreciate and enjoy each other’s preferences, using music as a way to connect and learn more about one another.
While shared music tastes are an avenue for exploring potential connections, they don’t determine the success of a relationship. Communication styles, personal values and life experiences are all crucial factors that help a relationship flourish. Understanding a person's ambitions, sense of humour and conflict approaches, all make up the rich tapestry that is connection.
It’s easy to get ahead of yourself with a romanticised version of a ‘perfect match’ who aligns with all your likes and dislikes, but chemistry goes far beyond a love for indie music. The reality is how you work together to make your lives as fulfilling as possible.
In the wise words of Tom’s little sister in 500 Days of Summer (2009): “Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soulmate.”
While music is a beautiful love language that can transcend beyond the physical to express our feelings, it is important to remember that relationships are an entire spectrum and are not defined by one form of affection alone.