My Journey with Herpes: Why It’s Not as Bad as It Seems 

This writer wishes to remain anonymous.

When I first found out I had herpes type 2 (HSV-2), I was shocked and overwhelmed. I contracted it unexpectedly from a partner who, instead of taking responsibility, implied that I had brought the infection into the relationship. The blame and confusion weighed heavily on me. At first, I thought herpes was the worst thing that could happen, but now, after educating myself and learning how to manage it, I’ve come to realise it’s not the life-altering issue I once feared. 

Discovering I had HSV-2 was emotionally tough. Like many, I had preconceived notions that herpes was uncommon, serious, and a sign of irresponsibility. I was consumed by the stigma and the fear of how it would affect my future relationships. My partner at the time made the situation worse by blaming me, which added to my anxiety. 

But once I did some research, I realised I wasn’t alone. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), around 13% of the global population between ages 15 and 49 has HSV-2. That’s nearly 500 million people globally, making it a far more common condition than most people realise. 

After learning more, I began to see that herpes isn’t as dramatic as it’s often made out to be. Yes, it’s a lifelong condition, but it’s manageable. The outbreaks, while sometimes uncomfortable, tend to become less severe and less frequent over time. Antiviral medications help reduce the symptoms and lower the risk of transmission to others. 

Herpes is spread through skin-to-skin contact, and while condoms reduce the risk, they don’t eliminate it entirely. I’ve learned that avoiding sexual activity during outbreaks is key to reducing transmission and that with proper management, herpes doesn’t have to affect my quality of life. 

I was initially terrified of telling a new partner about my diagnosis. However, once I had a conversation with them, I realised that the right person would understand. I’m now in a different relationship, and after explaining my situation, my partner was completely supportive. They understood that herpes is manageable, and it hasn’t been an issue in our relationship. That experience has been incredibly empowering and has helped me feel more confident in myself and my sexual health. 

One of the biggest challenges with herpes is the stigma, not the virus itself. The media often portrays herpes as a shameful or life-ruining condition, but that’s far from the truth. Millions of people live with herpes, and for most, it’s just an occasional inconvenience. 

At Newcastle University, we’re fortunate to have access to free sexual health services. Regular STI testing, open conversations with partners, and taking steps to manage any condition are all part of being responsible for sexual health. The more we talk about herpes openly, the less stigma there will be, and the easier it will be for others to manage their diagnosis. 

Having herpes doesn’t define who I am, and I’ve learned that it’s just one part of my life. With knowledge, support, and the right mindset, it’s entirely possible to live a healthy, happy life—and to find partners who will support you along the way.