Navigating 'right person, wrong time'

In this lifetime, most people will experience their fair share of relationships. Finding "the one" often feels like a trial-and-error process, making a few breakups along the way inevitable. These breakups come in various familiar forms—from the classic "It's not you, it's me" to the existential "I just don’t know who I am anymore," and even the painful "I’ve fallen out of love with you." Despite their differences, all these breakups share a common thread: pain. Yet, perhaps the most heartbreaking of all is a more subtle, but equally devastating, scenario—the right person at the wrong time.

In a way, there’s a bittersweet comfort in this kind of breakup. You know you’re capable of love, and you've found someone who could very well be “your person.” Yet, for reasons beyond your control, things just didn’t work out. Maybe life got in the way, perhaps external circumstances interfered, or you simply realized you’re better as friends than as long-term partners. What makes this trope so heart wrenching is the absence of a clear obstacle. There’s no major conflict or betrayal—just two people who love each other, but for some reason, can’t make it work.

It's no surprise that so many tear-jerkers revolve around this trope—La La Land, Fleabag, Normal People. Your heart aches for the characters, and you want to scream because it defies the version of love we've been taught to believe in. As children, we're told that people fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. In every fairy tale, once the prince and princess fall in love, marriage is a given, and so is their happily-ever-after.

But no Disney movie prepares you for the reality that sometimes people fall in love but can't be together. Not because of some grand external force, but because, if they tried, they'd find themselves fighting or drifting apart. People forget that relationships take work—constant effort. And when that effort fades, no matter how compatible or "perfect" two people seem, it can all fall apart.

That said, there are arguably gaps in this concept. One could argue that there’s never truly a perfect time to be together. Life is full of obstacles, challenges, and moments when things get in the way. In fact, it’s often the people who stick with us through those tough times that turn out to be the “right” ones. If we’re constantly waiting for the “right” time to take a chance on love, we may be waiting forever—because in reality, the perfect moment rarely exists.

With that in mind, the phrase "right person, wrong time" can't be deduced simply down to timing. It captures the deeper, more painful truth of wanting to be with someone but knowing, for reasons you can’t fully explain, that it just won’t work out. That’s the sad reality. Sometimes, people come into your life when you need them most—but that doesn’t always mean they’re meant to stay. Life and relationships are messy and complicated, but there’s a certain comfort in knowing that, despite the heartache, you’ve experienced love. And if you’ve found it once, it means you can find it again.