In tenth place, we have cricket. The main argument for this sport’s place in the list posed to me was Freddie Flintoff, though I personally don’t see the allure apart from himself being attractive. Bowling well is certainly sexier than batting, that’s for sure.
Next up is Tennis. This is an honorary DILF mention for Roger Federer, and plus their shorts are a nice addition. Albeit an impressive sport, with full body coordination and playing for hours on end, I’m not a fan of the grunting. Especially not Maria Sharapova’s screams. They’re not pleasurable sounds.
Now, listen. I love Neymar and Leah Williamson as much as the next person but I’m going to have to put football at number 8. It’s possibly due to my overexposure to it as a child, staring at a green field blankly until they zoomed in on a player’s face. The sport just doesn’t sexually arouse me as much as it arouses anger in me that I can’t watch anything else on the TV because ‘the match is on’.
Humbling myself, not at all in relation to the NCL club members, volleyball is next, though I promise if you saw me at practice you’d probably disagree. This sport is another that’s quite versatile for different sexual orientations to find attractive, even if my male friend did blatantly reason it for the women’s booty-shorts. I think an impressive spike or serve is pretty hot and it too requires total body coordination. I’ll stop here at risk of being exposed at training.
In sixth place, we have boxing. You can never go wrong with strong arms and a fighting face in the ring can be sexy. What lets it down is the bloodiness of injury (unless you’re into that) and mouth-guards, though not having teeth is arguably worse so that’s the least of their worries.
At our half-way point sits rugby. I know what you’re thinking and yes, rugby boys off of the field are a totally different question altogether but bear with me and think of the sport itself. This whole list is both objective and objectifying so I’ll just say one word: thighs. Like boxing, injury is another warning and so makes it difficult, at least for me, to watch with both eyes but if you believe bigger to be better then look no further than a rugby player.
Snowboarding is placed respectfully fourth, mainly due to me watching them nervously when skiing. Not only is it incredibly skilful, making sure you don’t fall full-body on yourself, the people who do it are often the coolest (pun-unintended) people you’ll meet and have a certain swagger that can only be achieved from their sport.
Similarly for charismatic reasons, surfing is rightfully awarded bronze in the sexiest sports category. Surfers’ connection to the water like a snowboarder’s to the snow is so intuitively attractive, but where they differ is there is more of an ease about the surfer character and not necessarily a rich-person’s sport. Whilst I argued wet suits to be ugly and uncomfortable, a contributor told me they leave little to the imagination.
I’ll probably receive backlash for what I’ve given silver to. In second place, we have F1. At least they get their champagne spritz on the podium! The reason this sport isn’t number one is purely because there is no woman alternative yet and I hardly think that fair. I think even straight men find F1 drivers attractive and honestly don’t try to argue with me about Daniel Ricciardo, you Lewis Hamilton die-hards.
And in first place, the gold sexiest sport, we have… climbing! Remember when I mentioned watching the Olympics? Tokyo 2020 introduced me to the world of bouldering and Japanese Olympian Miho Nonaka is perhaps the main reason I’d argue climbing to be no.1 on this list. It combines a lot of the skills mentioned for other sports but showcases them spectacularly and I’ve never seen a back look quite as sexy as it does when climbing.