The beauty of feminine friendships

An ode to the messy, gorgeous bond that is feminine friendship

Jess Hughes
7th November 2023
image credit: Rebecca Wright
When I think of feminine friendships, I think of Eryn. Once she heard of my breakup, she got on the next train halfway across the country, with not an ounce of hesitation - just a hamper of goodies and an overwhelming amount of love.  

The next few days she showed me unconditional love, responding with patience and kindness whilst I was a blubbering mess of emotion. In those few days she was here, I took her to Tynemouth and we walked along the front. I remember my hair was a shade too dark, as in typical post-breakup fashion we had impulsively box dyed my hair. My clothes didn’t fit me right and the wind won against my new fringe that was an inch or two too short (another questionable post-breakup decision).

It is not superficial nor materialistic. It is a raw, unconditional type of love

As women, it seems that so much of our identity relies on our appearance yet feminine friendship transcends this. It is not superficial nor materialistic. It is a raw, unconditional type of love. Eryn did not care that my look closely resembled a Tim Burton character, instead she bought me soup to warm me up on that cold winter day at the beach. 

During her trip we also attempted to make bread, something I’ve always wanted to try to do. We bought the ingredients, closely followed the recipe and created a chewy blob that was simultaneously burnt and uncooked. I think Eryn could sense my disappointment and through a forced smile and enthusiasm she ate her chewy blob, insisting it wasn’t that bad (it was that bad). I now knew deep down that bread making was not my speciality. Yet I also knew what love felt like that night, it was Eryn grimacing through the loaf and assuring me it was good just so I could have a tiny win.  

Now I think of Eryn every time I go to the beach. I think of her kindness, warmth and compassion. Eryn is my longest friend, she watched me transition from girlhood to womanhood. We were girls together, copying each other’s science homework and having lunch together each day. Now I hope we can experience womanhood together, hand in hand.  

It is belly laughing together, it is going to the bathroom with each other simply for the company and it is reminding the other to text you once they get home so you know they’re safe

Feminine friendships are inherently beautiful, it is a twinship. United through universal pain and pleasure. This article is an ode to that. It is belly laughing together, it is going to the bathroom with each other simply for the company and it is reminding the other to text you once they get home so you know they’re safe. Being a woman is challenging, in many aspects, yet feminine friendships truly make it worthwhile. I know I can get through the trials and tribulations of womanhood because I will always have my girls behind me.

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