The Five Swans: a love letter

Gaming Editor George Boatfield expresses his everlasting love for the newly revamped Five Swans

George Boatfield
18th February 2020
Image: George Boatfield
It’s safe to say that it’s been a difficult few months. Day after day, I walked past her but she just wouldn’t open up to me. She said she’d be back in time for Valentine’s Day, but getting my hopes up just wasn’t worth it. But there was a glimmer of hope - a meal together, someday, maybe, and perhaps a drink too. The date was set, Tuesday 11 February, and my goodness was it a day to remember!

Of course, what else could I be talking about here other than The Five Swans, the popular watering hole perfectly situated between campus and the town centre?

I couldn’t keep my cool and turned up early. A whole twenty minutes before the set time of 8am, in fact. It’s safe to say I was eager: it’s the most reliable my timekeeping has been for some time, but this was important. As the final group of people to leave The Five Swans before its refit (either shameful or a point of pride depending on how you look at it), we’d arranged a group breakfast to mark the inaugural visit appropriately.

My good friend and a Comment Editor for the Courier, Joe Molander, was part of the breakfast party, and speculated that perhaps our memories of the old pub decor could just be “a drunk fever dream.” But, as we walked through the doors for the first time in months, it was clear that was anything but the case.

Beginning downstairs, a fresh carpet was immediately noticeable, with other improvements remaining subtle, though appreciated nevertheless. The wood panelling and paint of the walls must have had some deep cleaning, as years of chip grease and burger sauce remnants made way for a much more hygienic appearance. Clearly, this bastion of booze had needed the TLC.

Five swan-themed lights greet you to the new quarters of a completely fresh upstairs, which is clearly the biggest improvement of the refurbishment.

And then we noticed the new staircase, which led to a mysterious new land: upstairs, otherwise known as heaven. As we ascended, it was even clearer how old and tatty the old flight really was and remains - it’s now relegated to an alternative, undesirable route despite the spruce-up.

Five swan-themed lights greet you to the new quarters of a completely fresh upstairs, which is clearly the biggest improvement of the refurbishment. Joe was similarly enamoured with the renewed Five Swans, describing it as “nothing less than incredible. The all-new top floor brought things to Five Swans that the establishment has never seen, such as lights, service and enough seats.”

There’s no denying that a trip to The Five Swans is made great by the company you go with, but nevertheless, this pub will always be my Valentine. It only seems right to end this with a haiku, so without further ado…

Beautiful Five Swans
Hallou - it’s - mi, here for fries
For they will save me

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