The three most important things for this are communication, communication and communication. If you can’t effectively explain to each other what you are experiencing, you will misunderstand each other, which can breed difficult feelings like anger, resentment or mistrust. If this goes on long and deep enough, it can even threaten the relationship. But thankfully, communication is a honeable skill, and here are the three (really three this time) key ways to do so:
Be honest…
Though it sounds blindingly obvious, the attempt to be honest can quickly get tricky in real-life situations. You don’t want to upset them, you don’t want to be a burden, you feel embarrassed or ashamed… but truly, I feel that one of the best policies (in all types of relationships, actually, just in life) is honesty. Say how you feel, with few frills or ambiguous phrases, because however close you may be, your partner is not a mind reader. Be honest for the general as well as the serious because that way, everything is on the table, and your partner is spending time with the real you.
…In the right way
But let me be clear: you have to be honest clearly. Choose an appropriate time to communicate the important stuff without interruptions from people and distractions from the TV. Make sure your mind is calm and have an idea of what you want to say so you can express it effectively. And remember to be honest about positive things as well as complaints, such as what you admire and appreciate in your partner.
Listen
There are no one-way signs on Communication Street. So be sure to go up and down it in both directions. If your partner has been properly honest at the right time in the right way, you need to listen, really listen. Take in what they are saying and digest it, consider their viewpoint carefully and balance it with yours before you reply. That way, a balance can be found, and you can meet in the middle of the street. As self-evident as they may seem, these three things are hard to manage when you’re caught in the rush of life and riding the emotions of being a couple. But in the long-term, they are vitally important for the health of your relationship, so they should definitely be kept in mind.
