Your dilemma of the week...

This week, one reader finds themselves caught between their roommates. Lets see what advice we had to give them.

Editorial Team
13th May 2024
This week, one reader finds themselves caught between their roommates. Lets see what advice we had to give them.

Dear Agony Aunt,

I’m feeling pretty guilty while being away at uni. I genuinely enjoy my studies and have met some great friends here, but whenever I talk with family or see updates from friends back home, I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out. They sometimes hint that they wish I was around more, and it makes me wonder if I’m neglecting them. I’m caught between fully embracing my uni life and keeping my connections strong back home. I worry that if I get too caught up here, I might lose touch with everyone back home. But then, focusing too much on home makes me feel like I’m not making the most of uni. I just don't know how can I manage this without feeling pulled in two directions.

It’s completely okay to feel like this, I think people massively underestimate how torn you become between uni and home, especially if home is far away and you still have strong friends and family. But you’re allowed to live your new life and you’re allowed to do it guilt-free. It is incredibly difficult to like you need to please everyone and attend to everything constantly. Nonetheless, my advice is to set up a weekly schedule or little meeting with your friends and family from home to have a catch-up or have a little gossip. By having a set time each week to catch up you can reassure yourself that you're putting time aside for them; as well as reassuring them that you're still present in their lives.
Similarly, you could also invite your home friends up to uni to come to stay - I know it seems a bit daunting to mix your home and uni life but a night out in Market Shaker is definitely the best ice breaker you can possibly have.
I can promise you now it'll get easier, even if it feels stressful right now but remember it is YOUR life and no one else can tell you how to live it.

Dear Agony Aunt,

My housemates support two different football teams, they’re not direct rivals but they’re playing against each other in the last match of the season, while one team is in a title race. Obviously, they both want their team to win, but for one it could be the end of their league winning streak. We are planning to watch it together as we always do, and they are both very passionate about their teams and it could end in tears. How do I support them both at the same time? What do I do when one team loses and the other wins?

Good luck - god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers. But in all seriousness, it is not the most pleasurable of activities having to sit through 90 minutes of a football not knowing who you actually want to win. However, at the end of the day, it is their problem; I can understand that football is their passion and it will be important to them but the world will keep turning no matter who wins or loses. It’s already brilliant that you show up and support your friend's interests; I’m sure it means the world to them that you’re willing to even watch with them, no matter who wins or loses.

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