Be your own Valentine: A beginners guide

I’m sure we’ve all experienced that dreaded surge of despair as the date edges closer and closer to February 14th. Trawling the likes of Tinder and Hinge in the hope that when someone inevitably asks what your plans are that day, you don’t have to say ‘I don’t have any.' Only to be met with sympathetic sighs from all your friends in relationships, who secretly have never felt more smug in their lives. 

Not to sound like a cynical, bitter singleton, but is Valentine's Day really all it’s hyped up to be? Expensive cards, expensive chocolates, expensive meals out. And the argument that at least one person always makes; do we truly need a day to prove we actually like the person we are with? More importantly though, why has society convinced us all that the only way to partake in this day is by being in a relationship, thus diminishing the value of self-love?

It might feel embarrassing or daunting to think of doing something by yourself, for yourself, and trust me, I get it’s difficult not to feel judged for doing so. But, here are a few tips I’ve come to learn that might just help you learn to appreciate yourself more.

1. Stop caring about people’s opinions. 

As hard as this might seem, don’t let the fear of what others may think stop you from enjoying yourself. Don't let others belittle you for spending your time doing what makes you feel good. 

2. Get to know yourself. 

Figure out what you enjoy doing, whether it be something as simple as whacking on a face mask and bingeing The Real Housewives, or something more adventurous like taking yourself out for the day. Indulge in a bit of ‘you time’, because I can guarantee you deserve it. 

3. Put yourself first. 

Stop doing things for others and start doing things for yourself. Don’t force yourself to go on another date with the walking, talking red flag who slid into your DMs because you feel rude turning them down. The chances are they’re not going to be the love of your life so I reckon nip it in the bud. 

4. Be kind to yourself. 

At times we can all be our own worst enemy, and don’t worry, we’ve all been there. The more we judge ourselves, though, the harder it becomes to respect and love ourselves. Don’t let your mind convince you that the reason you don’t have a Valentine’s date is because you ate a burger yesterday, or because you skipped the gym this week. 

It’s easy to start to spiral when all of your friends are messaging asking your opinion on what restaurant to book, what present to get or what outfit to wear. But try to rise above it and take pride in the fact that you’re prioritising yourself. 

And remember, as Miley says, we can buy ourselves flowers!