Constructs are things that don’t exist in objective reality, and are social when they only exist because humans agree that they exist. This can’t be the case for embarrassment, because it’s a true biological reaction that causes genuine physical symptoms. In order to feel embarrassed, your body releases adrenaline, which causes you to sweat, blush–sometimes even tremble–and feel that horrible acidic cringe in your stomach. This is very similar to the body’s fear response, which is stimulated by an objectively real danger to the body. So no, it’s not ‘all in your head’: something really is happening to you.
We are social beings who naturally want to be accepted, to maintain social bonds, to meet or exceed other people’s expectations.
That said, the outside events that trigger this reaction can be seen to be socially constructed. Let’s face it, you’re in no true danger when you wave back at someone who wasn’t waving to you, or when you realise your flies have been open all day. But if you think about it, all cases of embarrassment require the presence of others, real or imagined. Our bodies react so violently to these because we are social beings who naturally want to be accepted, to maintain social bonds, to meet or exceed other people’s expectations. Our bodies have kindly evolved so that as cavemen we would desire to be accepted by the tribe, to stop us being left to fend for ourselves and get eaten by a mammoth. We physically depended on other people, so that awful pang of shame and humiliation has the evolutionary purpose of preventing you from doing the thing again. Basically, your body is stuck in a cave in 10000BC.
But your body needs to get with the times – it’s nearly 2023, baby! It is still hardwired to be accepted by others, and acceptance now is purely social. Different cultures and people definitely find different things embarrassing. What will trigger your internal shame response, and what you consider embarrassing is now influenced by your external social environment.
It is inherent in us to make the best impression on people. Maybe we can use this knowledge to, ironically, be less embarrassed.
The bottom line is that embarrassment itself is not a social construct, it’s a true chemical change in your body that can be measured and seen. But the things that cause this embarrassment are indeed social constructs – there’s no biological reason why spilling a drink over yourself or stumbling on the pavement should make you cringe inside. Instead, it is inherent in us to make the best impression on people. Maybe we can use this knowledge to, ironically, be less embarrassed. Rationally, you know that you’re not going to be disowned by society and left to hunt antelopes alone for singing to yourself in the street. Since we no longer live in caves (shoutout to my great student house!), the next time I trip over my words in a conversation I’ll tell my caveman brain to shut up. You are reacting to a social construct. I can do what the hell I like.
