The ‘All by Myself’ routine is one I’m all too familiar with, thanks to society’s idea that self-worth can only be validated through romantic partners or being such a social butterfly that your wings feel like they’re going to snap off from overstimulation.
The label ‘loner’ is one echoed through my childhood and a term that still haunts me to this day. Why is it that we are punished and a sudden blame, that didn’t exist when you started colouring-in your drawing at playtime, now makes you feel blue?
Like any self-fulfilling prophecy, you can let it rock you or you can rock it. The first step to spending time alone is always the biggest; take it from me, quality time is my love language.
Side note: the rumours are true. Introverts do experience loneliness.
Try thinking of being alone as a form of self-love.
If quality time is also your love language, try thinking of being alone as a form of self-love. Are you a film-fanatic? Then go sink into the seats at Tyneside Cinema (my friend thinks this is so sad, however my Letterboxd begs to differ). Do you enjoy reading? Find a nice semi-bustling café, I recommend Flat Caps or Supernatural, and start that one book you’ve been meaning to for months now. It’s nice to have the atmosphere of people around you to remember you’re part of a community, even in solitude.
It’s nice to have the atmosphere of people around you to remember you’re part of a community, even in solitude.
I find that educating or enriching yourself when alone can even be the most valuable. Think about the last time you went to an art gallery or museum. Did you actually get to read the whole information board or see your favourite exhibit, before the person you were with moved on? Didn’t think so.
It’s easier said than done to change your mindset around loneliness. We both know you’re a ‘lover’ not a ‘loner’. Don’t let anyone stop you from travelling alone all the way to Whitley Bay just to try Pablo Eggs-go-bao (it’s so worth it, I promise).
Of course, pity parties are valid from time-to-time, but is it not better to have a dance and a little cake instead? Or at least in my case, a bao bun cheesier than this article.