My first experience with therapy nearly put me off for life. I accessed free NHS therapy the summer before I started university, wanting some support before leaving home and receiving my A-level results. However, the sessions felt impersonal and I didn't feel a connection with the therapist, which impacted how much I gained from it.
I don't entirely blame the therapist, as she was a nice woman and very qualified, but I didn't find much common ground with her, making it difficult to open up about my troubles.
Half an hour of each session was dedicated to filling out a 'wellbeing questionnaire' which rated my mental health from the week on a scale of 1-10. I found this system incredibly limiting, as it didn't take into account that mental health can fluctuate from day to day. You could have a good week generally but have one or two days of intense anxiety, yet it would still rank on the lower end of the NHS scale.
I felt like this survey system both belittled how I was feeling (as I would always rank on the lower end of the 'Anxiety scale' and therefore feel like I didn't deserve the therapy) and took away conversation time with the therapist.
I feel like this survey system both belittled how I was feeling and took away conversation time with the therapist
Because I didn't feel like I connected with the therapist for several reasons, I struggled to fully articulate the nature of my problems. I also felt that the remote sessions, some of which were over the phone, stripped away an element of intimacy. Overall, this wasn't very helpful for me, as I found it impersonal and restrictive. I didn't gain much in terms of dealing with my emotions or finding good coping mechanisms to take with me to university.
At the end of my first year, I reached out to the university counselling team, and this time the therapy helped me exponentially. I was paired with a counsellor through the wellbeing team, and though the sessions were still remote, I felt an instant connection with the counsellor.
I was relieved to find that there were no ranking questionnaires, and each of my six free sessions felt more like conversations with a friend than a survey of my mental state.
Even though six sessions didn't feel like enough, I got a lot out of it and still benefit from it today
My counsellor was amazing. She let me talk for most of the hour, interjecting occasionally with insightful comments or suggestions to carry forward. I also appreciated how she related her own experiences with my anxieties and worries, making me feel validated and recognised. Even though six sessions didn't feel like enough, I got a lot out of it and still benefit from it today.
Therapy can vary in its effectiveness, as everyone has different needs. However, I believe that everyone should experience a good therapy session in their lifetime. While it may take some time to find the right therapist for you, the practice can bring positive and lasting changes to your mental health.
Newcastle University offers free counselling sessions which you can access here, through the NUSU Mental Health Resources section.
