The belief that "once a cheater, always a cheater" suggests that cheating is more than a single bad choice—it’s part of a person’s character. Studies support the idea that those who cheat once may be more likely to do so again. Research from the University of London suggests that individuals who cheat once may be more likely to do so again. In a study conducted by psychologists, it was found that people who had been unfaithful in previous relationships were significantly more likely to cheat in future ones. This pattern could be due to factors such as impulsivity, attachment issues, or a lack of commitment to monogamous values. Infidelity may reflect deeper personal insecurities or fears, making it harder to break the cycle.
However, it’s important to recognise that not everyone who cheats is absolutely destined to be unfaithful forever and a repeat offender. Sometimes, cheating happens because of a rough patch, a lingering issue, or even bad judgment rather than because someone is a total lost cause. In fact, those who wake up the next morning with that “oh no, what have I done?” feeling may actually be more likely to stay faithful moving forward. One study in the Journal of Sex Research found that genuine regret can be a good sign—sometimes leading people to self-reflect, talk it out, or even sit through a couple of therapy sessions.
It’s also worth considering that relationships can survive infidelity. While cheating is a major betrayal, some couples find that they can rebuild trust over time, especially if both partners commit to open communication. It certainly wouldn’t be easy, but maybe it’s possible for couples willing to face the challenges together.
In the end, whether or not someone can "come back" from cheating depends on the individual’s willingness to address underlying issues and make changes. Cheating can signify deep relationship problems or personal struggles, but it may not necessarily define someone for life. For those who recognise and confront their actions, redemption could be achievable.
Even so, I truly believe that some people will never cheat no matter how bad things get, and others will always cheat no matter how good they have it.
