Margaux Martinez
When getting close to someone, I like to pay attention to the way they treat the people around them. Whether that is a friend or a simple stranger, I will make quick judgements on their behaviour. And I'm not really sorry about it.
Imagine if one of your friends was to blow you off repeatedly to hang out with their partner. That wouldn't be a very good friend, would it? Now, if your partner is willing to blow off their friends to hang out with you, although you might feel very special, it is nasty behaviour. And it speaks a lot to their character.
Not treating your friends right means you are unable to treat me right. It means that the person latches on to whoever they like the most at the time or whoever is willing to give them more of their time and will drop when a more interesting person to their eyes comes along.
Honestly, they're probably not even worth all of that trouble.
Also, only wearing white or black socks. Absolutely criminal red flag when fun socks exist.
Adelaide Dodson
I don’t know about everyone else, but I feel I’m constantly on guard, looking for the worst red flags out there, of which there are many. The one red flag I’m constantly watching for though? Bad friends.
Not bad in the sense that they’re not a good friend to the person you’re dating, bad in the sense that they just don’t seem like a very nice person.
If you’ve got to the point of a relationship where you’re meeting the friend group, things are probably going relatively well, they’re still new, but there’s good potential, and you’re happy. Maybe even on cloud nine. The last thing you want to encounter is a rude or disrespectful friend.
Awkward family encounters are bound to happen; no one has control over who they’re related to, but bad encounters with a prominent member of their friend group? Red flags suddenly start waving before my eyes.
After all, if your partner is friends with this person, it might make you wonder how they talk and act behind your back. I’m not saying they’re talking about you specifically in a horrible way. All I’m saying is - as a woman who has met her fair share of men who don’t respect other women - if you’re boyfriend has a friend who is openly disrespectful, rude, or even just a bit icky and he’s not checking his friend’s behaviour it sends up some red flags.
Amelie Baker
One of my biggest red flags, and unfortunately a hard one to spot, is when a partner actually detracts from your life instead of adding to it.
Whilst this might sound a bit obvious, it’s something that is easily forgotten once love gets involved and starts telling you that everything should be sacrificed for this person. That is not true, especially at this age. If your partner is stressing you out, or stopping you from chasing up opportunities or worrying you, you need to take a step back and evaluate whether you really bring out the best in each other. A good partner should add experiences to your life, provide a safe place, and, above all, support you in all of your endeavours, even if it means the relationship will have to go long-distance for a bit. Of course, all relationships need work and have their rough patches, but if you consistently feel like you can’t do things because of your partner or you feel exhausted after being around them, maybe it's just not the right fit. And everyone deserves the perfect fit, no matter what.