The general internet definition of the term explains it as a woman who seeks male validation directly or indirectly by insinuating that she is unlike other women. In my experience, the implicit ambiguity of this definition seems to have created some debate around what actually constitutes as a “pick me” girl.
Some people see a woman claiming to like football and immediately brand her as a “pick me”. Or a woman explaining that she doesn’t enjoy wearing make-up instantly being dubbed as the worst feminist of all time. But a woman simply enjoying “non-feminine” things (whatever on earth that means) does not make her some sort of raging misogynist.
God forbid the world was designed for women to actually just get along with each other
This misuse of the term just feeds misogyny further. The entire point of talking about “pick-mes” was to bring to light how some women feel the need to tear other women down in order to appeal to men. Because God forbid the world was designed for women to actually just get along with each other, rather than pit us against one another.
Despite this, most of us, at some point or another, will have encountered a pick-me girl. They’re fairly easy to spot. Most of their personality comes down to “not being like other girls” because their view on “other girls” is one fuelled by Andrew Tate-like perspectives. “Other girls” wear too much makeup. “Other girls” cause too much drama. “Other girls” don’t like sports.
Most of their personality comes down to “not being like other girls”
A pick-me girl could simply “NEVER wear that much makeup”, they’d rather die than look “fake”. They’re probably not friends with other girls, purely because girls cause so many arguments, no other reason. You know what girls are like, catty and petty and get over-emotional over the most miniscule things, who on earth would want to be friends with them? Men aren’t like that, are they? They’re level headed, honest and definitely haven’t started every war in history ever.
Looking back on it, I’ve definitely done some very “pick-me”-esque things in my life. Most of it came down to jealousy and internalised misogyny. I wanted to be like other girls I knew, which I knew was physically impossible, so making them look cringey or stupid for simply enjoying things was a better strategy in my mind.
I distinctly remember primary school, thinking I looked incredibly cool to boys when I told them I wasn’t like other girls because I just HATED One Direction and Justin Beiber, even though I’d dance around to both in my room at age 7, like the rest of the world. After quickly realising that I did not in fact look cool, I came to the conclusion that I actually wanted to be like other girls. I mean, they got to see One Direction live and I didn’t because I was too busy pretending to be above it all, so who had more fun there?