All jokes aside, fall weather is ideal for snuggling, and everyone in the dating pool is heading out to explore their options with a renewed sense of purpose. Seeing how it’s cuffing season, it raises often confusing questions for many of us going out on first dates: Should the man pay on the first date? Does a first date mean a man has to break the bank to impress a woman?
Now for me, it’s all about the context. Historical context deemed it necessary that men pay for the first date, due to the culture of men being the sole earning members. It was also considered polite and falls in line with societal expectations. Most men expected to pay on the first date. However, attitudes have changed overtime as a result of the rise of women in the workspace and the rise of the feminist movement.
These days, it is ideal for people to often split the bill, or for each party to pay for their share, at least. I think there is no harm in a man paying for the first date, but it all depends on who asked whom out. The bottom line, the person who proposed the date and decided to take the other person out, should be the one to treat! This applies to same-sex couples as well, where the person who proposed the date pays, and the other person can easily offer to split it 50-50, or choose to foot the bill on date number 2.
So if a woman asked a man out, in a hetero-normative scenario, she should be willing to foot the bill as she is the one making the first move! But on the contrary, I’m what you call a ‘bhukkad’ in Hindi, and while I am a feminist, if anyone offered to pay for my food, date or no date, you’d better believe I’m saying yes.
There is a very real issue of the first date being this huge, spectacular production, and that is often what leads it to becoming an anxiety-riddled event, where you are just trying your best. But it doesn't have to be! Keep it simple, keep it fun, and when it's time to call for the cheque, just be frank! You can offer to pay, as it does make the other person feel special, but there is no harm in splitting it. I think as long as the dynamic is clear and you're both having a good time, everything will be okay.
Have fun, and stay safe out there cuties!
