Love is supposed to be a beautiful thing, right? We’re told that finding it will make everything in life seem more fulfilling, that it’s the key to happiness, and that it’s the ultimate goal. But as a single girl, I can’t help but feel like love is both a blessing and a curse, a source of joy and frustration all rolled into one.
In fact, I’ve come to realize that I love to hate love. It’s a complicated relationship, but one that feels all too familiar.
For one, love is often portrayed as something that is supposed to 'complete' you, like you're only half of a person until you find that other half. It’s the kind of sentiment I’ve grown tired of hearing. Sure, love is wonderful, but I’ve learned that it’s not the be-all and end-all.
There’s a certain pressure in society for single women to 'find someone'—and quickly. The idea that being single is somehow incomplete or less valid is something I find irritating, but also hard to ignore. It makes me resent the idea of romantic love as something that should be the ultimate source of validation.
I love to hate love because it’s often surrounded by unrealistic expectations. Everywhere I look, I see films, TV shows, and books that glorify love, turning it into something perfect and effortless.
"That constant tug-of-war between wanting to open myself up to love and wanting to protect my heart can be exhausting."
But the truth is, love is messy. It’s complicated. It requires hard work and sacrifice, and sometimes, it even hurts. The idealized version of love in the media leaves me feeling frustrated. It makes me question what’s real and what’s just a fantasy. As much as I crave real, authentic connection, I sometimes resent the pressure to live up to these impossible, fairy-tale ideals.
Another reason I love to hate love is the emotional rollercoaster it often brings. It’s no secret that falling for someone can be exhilarating, but it also means putting yourself at risk of hurt, disappointment, and heartbreak.
As a single girl, I’ve spent a lot of time protecting myself from the vulnerability that comes with love. Yes, I want to experience deep connection, but I also know that with love comes the risk of betrayal or unreciprocated feelings. That constant tug-of-war between wanting to open myself up to love and wanting to protect my heart can be exhausting. I sometimes feel like I’m playing a game I’m not entirely sure I want to win.
And let’s not forget about the dating scene. As a single woman, navigating modern romance can sometimes feel like a circus of miscommunication, awkward encounters, and fleeting connections. I’ve often found myself disillusioned by online dating, where swiping left and right can feel like an endless parade of 'what-ifs' and 'maybe’s'. The lack of genuine connection in this fast-paced world of instant gratification only deepens my love-hate relationship with love.
But despite all the complications, there’s still a part of me that yearns for it. I want the depth, the passion, and the vulnerability that love brings. But at the same time, I love to hate the way it can throw me off balance, make me question myself, and cause unnecessary heartache. Love is beautiful, but it’s also messy—and sometimes, I’m not sure I’m ready to dive headfirst into it.
So, I love to hate love. It's a delicate balance, but one that I’ve learned to embrace as a single woman, knowing that maybe, just maybe, someday I’ll find the kind of love that’s worth the risk. Until then, I’ll be here, enjoying the complicated beauty of it all.