Unfortunately, in this day and age, even despite efforts to remove the stigma surrounding sexuality over recent years, it would be difficult to find a queer woman who has not been singled out for their orientation. The fetishisation of sapphic individuals seems so embedded into society that such hapless experiences are to be expected.
There seems to be an almost universal phenomenon in which lesbian and bisexual women are viewed as a challenge, particularly by males. Whether it be within real social settings or during online discourse, it would seem that our unavailability acts as an invitation to that overused and dreaded statement: “I bet I could swing her.”
Though it isn't always just the boys who push this fetishised agenda onto the queer community, presumably caused by a longing for male validation, it can often be straight women who, accidental or not, lend a hand in sexualising sapphic individuals. It's unfortunately and potentially increasingly common that some straight women will use their queer friends to “impress” a boy. Especially within the nightlife scene, why do a few cocktails make my straight friends entitled to kiss me so that they can bag another free drink from their male audience? Now, this is not to say that these women don't have a right to explore their own sexuality, but these circumstances and settings are not an appropriate way to do so.
Even beyond explicit fetishisation, the public generally seems to share a fascination with gay women. I had never felt pressured to assign myself a label before university, but society's curiosity is unforgiving.
Even beyond explicit fetishisation, the public generally seems to share a fascination with gay women. I had never felt pressured to assign myself a label before university, but society's curiosity is unforgiving. Even though sexuality can be a sensitive and very personal topic for some, it does often feel like some individuals feel entitled to know how you would define yourself- and if you won't, chances are they will slap a label on you instead.
It seems impossible to escape the sexualisation and expectations of being a woman within the queer community, so it's important to remember that it's not for anybody else but ourselves. In short, not everyone will ever be pleased, and some individuals will always find a way to push their two cents -no matter how you present yourself or how many girls you fancy.
